What do you remember about creating your Valley Hope Cup during treatment? What did your design represent at that point in your recovery?
When I received the cup, it was a plain white cup. I remember seeing others decorate theirs and I wanted to do the same. For some reason I couldn't. So, my cup stayed a blank slate until the last week of my stay. I waited till I had a vision of what it should represent for me. So, when it came closer to me leaving, I stopped and took a deep breath and prayed. I ask God what is it that I should do. He gave me a scripture Isaiah 41:10. My favorite color is burnt orange and so, I decorated my cup with that scripture and created a ""burnt"" orange with the colors available.
My design represents Gods promise to me that HE will never leave me. That with HIM I could take all that I have learned and put it together along with HIM and LIVE the life HE created me to live. It represents the 32 days of giving it my all to get all that I could. HIS righteous Right hand holding me and guiding through every doubt, revelation, every tear. It represents the chance I took on ME!! To this day it represents I am worth it all!!
What did it mean to return for Renewal Day, see your cup again, and realize how much your life had changed in one year?
To return a year later was surreal and I felt redeemed. Holding my cup, I was not the same person who designed it. I wasn't in the same place mentally. I walked into Valley Hope beat down, exhausted, and broken. I was in a marriage that was proving to be mentally and physically abusing. I was small. I returned TALL, worthy, empowered, free, humbled, grateful and deserving. Even though I'm no longer married and starting over in life. I feel the changes that I made at Valley Hope inspired me to be the woman I was created to be.
Today, when you look at your Valley Hope Cup, what does it symbolize for you?
It symbolizes a time in my life that I took a chance on the what if. What if I ask for help and I actually get it. I did I got more than I could have imagined. Looking at my cup, I'm reminded of the sacrifices I had to make in order to live. To trust the process.
Is there anything else about your Valley Hope Cup or your recovery journey that you'd like to share?
The cup is a token or symbolic of the process. Valley Hope will always be a place close to my heart like home. I have learned and picked up so many tools and tokens that have allowed me to understand why I was where I was. For me it was much more than drinking. It was the mental state of fear. At VH I was able to be vulnerable and true to myself. It didn't always feel, sound or look pretty. For once, I felt safe cause I was safe. I was able to uncover the good, bad and ugly. To this day I use every tool I learned. The one that I use the most in all areas and undecisive situations is to play it forward. This has saved me many times. Not just with if I should drink or not but, before, I even allow my mind to go there I can sense the atmosphere, and I start the tape at that point. It always led me back to my foundation and that has led me to gratefully have 521 days (as of 7/30/26) of sobriety. Sobriety of mind, body and soul.
People would say things like “be in the moment” and “one day at a time” and that never made any sense to me. I can honestly say that I’ve learned how to do those things today.
In the first six months of sobriety I have restored my relationships with my family and friends, fallen in love with my sober partner, thrived in my career and gotten plugged back in with communities I enjoyed before my addiction.
My passion for reading has turned into a wonderful opportunity of reading for a network that helps others. I am now two years into my volunteer work and absolutely love it!
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