Jan B.’s Story

• 2025: More Than My Recovery

Which Valley Hope location did you attend?

Valley Hope of Cushing

When is your sobriety birthday?

March 5, 2025

How has recovery influenced the person you are today?

My story is a long one. I became a widow at age 48 and my girl and boy twins were 15 at the time. I was married 24 years and lived in Texas. I was strong. He died in March in a small plane crash the day after he turned 50. I was in Tulsa for my parents 50th wedding anniversary. I had just talked to him at noon that day and he was going to fly with a bunch of friends on a small plane to either have barbecue or catfish. He was not the pilot, but the other three men survived and they could not get him out and he burned to death. I will say I did not grieve because I was selling my dream home in Texas to move to Tulsa so that we could be close to family. I bought a house got my kids through high school then through college and onto their new careers. My daughter owns her own business called Black Moth in Tulsa, and my son is a lighting engineer in the film industry in LA. both are very creative like their mother. I picked up drinking heavily after my kids went to college. I felt like that was my time to have fun. However, it wasn’t fun. It was demoralizing and wrecking my health. I saw treatment at Valley Hope in 2017 and continued in and out of rehab and detoxes. My last 30 days at Valley was in December 2024. I did freelance in my home for years as a graphic designer and then I was an art teacher at Regent preparatory Christian school in Tulsa for five years. In 2022 I had a total hip replacement. 10 days after that first surgery my hip popped out the back. On the same day while sitting in the wheelchair to leave, it popped out again. They then did a adjustment through another surgery. 14 days later it popped out the front. I had a third surgery and it was another total hip replacement. All of this transpired in six weeks. My mother passed away at age 88 after a long battle with her heart and blood pressure. That was June 4 I have been dealing with her financials, house, rehoming her for animals, which has been a long laborious and sad time because of all of my past and a new program I signed up for in February called The Path, by Annie Grace, the author of This Naked Mind. I have not thought about drinking or using alcohol to numb my grief. I am walking through the grief with my head held high.

What’s something meaningful you’ve started doing since getting sober that brings you joy or purpose?

My joy comes from living a life that I no longer want to numb. I am a tour director for Two dog travel. I was supposed to do a trip November 1, however, I am getting married November 1. I will do a lot more tours next year. I did a tour in Slovenia End of May while doing it sober. It was a great trip and I’m proud of it. I met my fiancé 10 years ago in a doctor's office. We were friends through youth group in church so I’ve known him since elementary. We’ve dated off and on for five years and he has been there by my side through my mini rehabs and detoxes and my hip surgeries. After becoming sober. And I mean real sober. I have truly fallen in love with him and can’t wait for our future together.

What goals have you achieved or are working toward because of your recovery?

I had a big dream to have a studio in my home. I now have a studio upstairs in my home and it’s gorgeous. I am remodeling my home after 18 years all during this process of getting sober, buying a new car, getting married, and losing my mom.Lots of travel and true and honest connections with my family and friends.

Is there a passion or talent you have pursued in recovery?

Art, teaching, travel, fiancé, and soon to be husband. My talented girl and boy twins spending lots of time with my family. Quality time.